


Decisions

by Do_not_careissa



Series: Star Sapphire Jason [11]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Green Lantern - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alluded to, Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Dick Grayson Has Issues, Dirty Jokes, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memories, Past Sexual Assault, Red Lantern Dick Grayson, Self-Hatred, Sex Talk, Star Sapphire Jason Todd, minor GuyHal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:46:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Do_not_careissa/pseuds/Do_not_careissa
Summary: Dick's decision had been final. He was getting rid of the ring. He wouldn't be involved in what it might make him do. For how adamant he was, Jason was starting to think that wasn't the real reason anymore. With their extra time on Lundi maybe he could figure out what it was and maybe come to a few decisions of his own.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Guy Gardner & Jason Todd, Guy Gardner/Hal Jordan, Hal Jordan & Jason Todd, Kyle Rayner/Jason Todd
Series: Star Sapphire Jason [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632121
Comments: 19
Kudos: 310





	Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for discussions and jokes about sex, self-loathing, and allusions to possible past sexual assault (nothing is explicitly stated as having happened, but is open to interpreting it in that way)

Part 11 Decisions

Their arrival on Lundi had gone as well as expected, or at least it had for Jason and the Green Lanterns. It was pretty clear to Jason that Dick had expected something a bit different though. It wasn’t that he was sulking or anything, or even that the locals were giving him a hard time. No, none of that. But it was pretty damn obvious that Dick hadn’t expected the job to be quite so, well, boring for lack of a better word.

Jason couldn’t blame him, hell he’d been in the same boat once upon a time. The Green Lanterns could travel through space, they wielded the most powerful weapon in the universe, they were literally a military unit. It made sense that Dick would think a GL’s job revolved around fighting. In a way it did, just not always their fists.

“Is it always like this?” Dick asked him, continuing to sport that confused expression of his.

“What’s the matter? Can’t handle a little recon and retrieval mission?” Jason joked as he leaned against the wall.

Dick’s eyes flickered over to him briefly, long enough for Jason to see the exasperation in his gaze. “No, it’s just, I expected more I guess, that’s all.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Jason warned. “You know how quickly situations can go to shit for us back in Gotham? It can go much quicker out here, what with the whole non-native who has power the locals don’t thing. People can get kind of paranoid around us. Part of why the rings can access so much information, tends to help in avoiding incidents if you know what can set them off.”

Jason saw Guy and Kyle approaching, the two having brought back food for them while Hal and John were off figuring out their lodging situation. Of the few planets Jason had been sent to on missions, they’d all provided some form of housing for him. Unfortunately that wasn’t always the case. With how many people were now in their group, even if it were provided the two were probably having to haggle for an extra room or bed or something. Jason didn’t mind sharing when necessary, but six people was a bit much to be trying to squeeze into one bed. Whatever, so long as they had a place to stay everything would be fine.

“That makes sense,” Dick said, pulling his attention back. “I just assumed there’d be more actual fighting, you know?”

“Depends on the assignment,” Guy said as he handed off their food. “Fights aren’t all they’re cracked up to be out here. Fun? Hell yeah, but let’s be real here kid, when someone comes after us, or goes and attacks somewhere knowing we’ll be there to stop them, shit can be a real pain in the ass. Ya don’t go looking for a fight with a ring slinger without a plan.”

Dick nodded, digging into his foo.. Guy’s explanation was sound at the very least. While Jason had only been in a handful of fights since he got his ring, he could definitely see his point. It was like those villains that went after Superman. You didn’t do that without a game plan and some kind of kryptonite at the ready.

The four of them moved away from their little spot they’d been occupying, making their way out of the city center and towards the outskirts.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Hal and John?” Dick asked once they were away from the locals.

“Nah, they can locate us with our rings, no biggie,” Guy said, shrugging off the question.

Dick proceeded to ask another question, then another as they found a nice empty stretch of land to settle on. Jason did what he could to answer them, though Guy wound up taking over pretty quickly. For how much Jason had learned over the last few months, Dick’s questions were quickly turning in very specific directions.

It took a while, but Dick’s questions finally slowed down to a halt, giving Guy a chance to look around. With Hal and John still out of sight, he turned back to Dick. “While we wait we can work on your control a bit more.”

It was odd to see Dick so reluctant for anything, especially training. Jason was so used to seeing him be all gung ho for everything. It just felt wrong not seeing that enthusiasm now.

“Go on,” he said, lightly pushing the other’s back. “May as well. We’ve got time.”

Dick looked back at him, searching his face for something. Whatever it was he didn’t seem to find it. He turned to join Guy a ways away, the red light surrounding him beginning to expand.

Jason heaved a sigh once Dick was out of earshot. It was just so weird to see Dick like this, especially for this long. He could remember times when Dick had gotten angry or serious, sure, but never for this long and never with that lost look in his eyes. He wanted to do something, wished he could, but at this point he wasn’t sure he could.

A chin fell over his shoulder, Kyle’s arms winding around his stomach to pull him close. Jason leaned back into the hold, Kyle’s hair tickling up his neck as he nuzzled just that little bit closer, pulling a few giggles from Jason as he went.

Guilt sank into his gut just a little deeper, making his fingers tighten over Kyle’s arms. Kyle had been pretty quiet since they left Earth, really he’d been quiet even before that. He wasn’t worried that their relationship was in trouble. If anything their talk back on the Watchtower had reaffirmed how serious this was for the both of them, how important they’d become to each other. And yet, he’d spent nearly every moment with or focusing on Dick, leaving Kyle to float by and do whatever he did. Jason knew he was drawing for at least some of the time, it was hard to avoid that with him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he was spending too much time on Dick and not enough on Kyle.

It’s not like he could ask him, or anyone for that matter. Everyone on this trip was a self-sacrificing idiot to some degree, he was self-aware enough to admit that. No matter who he asked they’d all say it was fine if he didn’t spend time with them, that if he needed to sacrifice their time together to spend it with Kyle or Dick or whoever it was okay. Ugh.

“Tell me,” Jason said, shifting only slightly as he looked for a certain sensation at the back of his foot. “Are you floating again? Or did you finally give in and add heels to your boots?”

Kyle huffed, the air blowing right on his neck again. This man had a thing for watching him squirm, he had to. That or he just figured out Jason’s neck was a bit more sensitive, at least on the right side. It was probably that one, all things considered.

“It’s not my fault you’ve gotta be a freaking giant,” Kyle pouted.

Jason laughed, turning his head just enough to kiss Kyle’s temple. “Well it’s not my fault you and Dick are the same height.

“Am not.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, you’ve got what? A whole inch on him? My apologies.”

“Damn right I do.”

“A whole inch, oh what a difference,” Jason swooned, letting his head fall back dramatically and chuckling as Kyle faltered under the extra weight. “Such a big, tall man I’ve chosen to keep at my side. I am truly the most fortunate maiden in all the seven kingdoms.”

Kyle laughed, shaking his head at the sarcasm. “Not nearly as fortunate as I am.”

“Whatever you say darling.”

He turned back to the others, watched as a streak of red flew at Guy only to be blocked by a bright green wall. Dick seemed to have a good grasp on everything, but based on his face Jason wasn’t too sure. Then again, Dick had worn frustration like it was going out of style for the last few days now, so he couldn’t really be sure.

The hands on his stomach started to move again, running back to his hips, dancing up to his chest, running a path over him as Kyle held him close. A shiver ran up his spine, the feeling of Kyle’s gaze, intense as ever, compounding the feeling. He turned his head as much as possible to return it, finding Kyle’s eyes blown wide as he watched him. God he loved when Kyle looked at him like that, like he was the only other person in the universe worth a damn. And with his lips parted like that, shit the ideas Jason got just looking at them.

His fingers wound their way into Kyle’s hair, drawing him into a kiss. There was no doubt that Kyle was floating by now, not that there’d been any before. It would’ve made him laugh any other time, but Kyle’s lips moving against his did far more to keep his attention, the Lantern’s hands holding him close as he worked him apart. Why did he have to be so good at that? Jason knew Kyle had years’ worth of experience on him in the romance department but come on. Some things just didn’t feel legal, and this was definitely one of them.

It was a struggle but he managed to pull away just enough to catch his breath, only then realizing where his other hand had migrated. He’d clearly meant to grab Kyle’s hip, but of course for him that meant he’d wound up with a handful of ass, not that he was complaining or anything. He glanced back to Guy and Dick, finding them blissfully unaware. Good, though the question now became whether he should move his hand or not. Most would say yes, but frankly, most people didn’t get an opportunity like this. He’d always wondered about people’s obsessions with asses, had listened to Roy’s impassioned speeches on the subject on more than one occasion, and he’d never quite gotten what was so great. It seemed like he finally understood, and Kyle wasn’t complaining about that.

He turned in Kyle’s hold, reluctantly taking his hand with him. “Watch it Rayner,” he teased, motioning towards Guy and Dick. “We might have an audience soon if you don’t slow down.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“At the moment? Yes.”

Kyle huffed again, pouting in that way that always drove Jason crazy. “You started it,” he grumbled.

Jason lifted an eyebrow, not saying anything at the joke. This fucker was still floating too, because of course he was. Kyle was just so used to always being the taller one in a relationship, the minute he wasn’t was the minute he started to compensate. “Maybe later we can revisit this, yeah? When we’re not in eyesight or earshot of anyone,” he promised.

“Hmm, I can live with that.”

Kyle took his hands, swinging them back and forth together before spinning them around, his feet never touching the ground as he lifted Jason up. Really, it was for the best. Jason had seen his attempts at dancing already, the ground didn’t deserve that kind of torture.

They finished their little dance in a position similar to what they’d started with, only now Kyle had attached his legs to Jason’s hips and thighs, his chin now once more propped on his shoulder. Jason rolled his eyes at they moved, fondness settling deep in his chest. There was no way he could possibly complain about this, not really. This feeling of closeness, of being loved and adored, it was amazing.

“You think he’ll make it through this?” Kyle asked, drawing his eyes back to where Dick and Guy were still going at it.

Truthfully he’d already asked himself that more times than he cared to count. Because honestly, for how much of a brave face Dick might put on, this was obviously starting to drain him and his energy. The usual hope that shined in his eyes was barely recognizable amongst all that red rage. Still...

“Of course he will, this is Dick we’re talking about here,” he said, tapping the other’s thigh. “A lot worse things have tried to kill him, trust me.”

“I know that,” Kyle grumbled, shifting ever so slightly. Really, could he not? At least not when his hips were situated on top of... things. “I mean is he gonna make it through this and still be himself.”

“I have no idea,” Jason admitted as he stared intently ahead. “I’m just glad he’s here with us. I’m glad he’s even just alive right now. That kind of self-loathing, the kind where all you ever seem to do is wake up and see yourself as a monster. All the thoughts and ideas you get, thet’re not pretty.”

The lips at his temple calmed him, gave him something to focus on other than the things swirling around in his head. The lips moved down to his face, stopping every so often to kiss him again, before they landed on his cheek. “I’m glad you’re still here too Jay.”

He squeezed Kyle’s thigh just a little tighter, closed his eyes at the feelings creeping in from Kyle’s contact. “Me too,” he whispered, leaving his eyes closed. “Me too.”

He couldn’t remember when that feeling began, when he realized that, actually yes, he was glad to still be around, that he was actually starting to be happy with the life he’d been given. He knew he’d given that same answer before, that Roy or Kori or someone had been on the receiving end, but he also knew it had rarely if ever been heartfelt or genuine. Was that to say he wasn’t happy with his friends? That he didn’t love them? No, absolutely not, but there’d been more than a few days where it had all seemed completely and utterly pointless to even try. He couldn’t say when it had stopped, only that it seemed to have finally left him alone now. He couldn’t be more grateful for it.

By the time Hal and John made it back to their little rag tag group, Guy and Dick were covered in sweat and dirt, not that it stopped Guy from pouncing the minute he saw them. Hal didn’t seem to mind if his laughter was anything to go by, returning the teasing and over exaggerated flirting just as much as he returned the more physical displays of affection. It was nice seeing the people in a relationship actually liking, knowing that it wasn’t some ploy for the cameras, some status symbol, or because someone had been coerced into it. No, for how weird their dynamic seemed to him, Jason knew that was what he wanted. A nice house with white picket fences and two and a half kids playing in the backyard was nice and all, but actually knowing and loving your partner seemed so much better.

Maybe he was over thinking it a little, but between having something like that and whatever the fuck Bruce and his “dates” had, the choice was obvious.

“Hey champ,” Hal said as he threw an arm over his shoulder. “Holding up okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Jason asked, forcing in an obnoxious tone.

“We were gone for a while, that’s all.”

“Were you? I didn’t even notice,” Jason joked, his grin stretching across his face.

Hal just rolled his eyes before ruffling his hair. “Well,” he said, raising his voice to ensure everyone was paying attention. “Me and John managed to weasel out a hotel for us. We should start heading over.”

The group nodded in agreement. Hal squeezed Jason’s shoulder one last time before floating away to lead them to wherever they were staying. Kyle sidled up to Jason, looking more than a little confused at the scene.

“Champ?” he whispered. “Is he being serious or just trying with his weird wannabe dad humor again?”

“I’d say both,” Jason whispered back. “He finally has an excuse for his jokes, of course he’s going to run with it.”

Kyle looked at him quizzically, his eyes squinted in thought as he watched Jason. “So you decided on the paper stuff then?”

“You could say that.”

Kyle moved closer, bumping their shoulders together. “I’m glad. You deserve better than that shitshow in Gotham.”

Jason took the hand offered to him, squeezing it tightly. He still didn’t know what to think, what to feel about it all. Because really, for how much he went through with the bats, with Bruce and his little followers and all that crap, he still felt so much for them. Hell, he’d dropped everything to run after Dick, to fly to the other side of the universe to save him, even after all the shit that’s happened before then. He understood where Kyle was coming from, knew it on a personal level, he just didn’t know how to feel about any of it.

“Let’s not worry about that, okay?” he said.

Kyle nodded as he moved closer to his side. It was an awkward way to fly, either being curled up against someone or having someone curled up against you, but they’d done it enough by now to be used to it. And Jason sure as hell wasn’t going to push him away.

* * *

Anger was not an uncommon emotion for Dick. Yes he might hide it more often than not, but he knew it was there, felt it bubbling just beneath the surface as it waited for a chance to come out. Only now there was something _else_ there too.

Power wasn’t something he was accustomed to, not in this sense anyway. He wasn’t a meta or an alien, he wasn’t a mystic or magician, he was just a normal human with normal human abilities and limitations. Sure he could do things most people couldn’t, took risks others wouldn’t dare dream of taking, but things like flying, shooting beams of energy from his hands, hitting harder and stronger than any human ever should, that was Kori’s area of expertise, that was everything he wasn’t. Spewing burning bile? Having fingertips as sharp as knives? Hair that could grab and strangle and stab? It wasn’t right, not at all.

And it all served to make his anger that much worse, that much clearer.

He’d built up a wall of sorts, one to surround and keep in the anger, to hide it away. He knew it was a problem, knew his anger could be explosive and dangerous if he wasn’t careful, so he’d taken those precautions. Normally he’d be able to ignore that anger, to only have to acknowledge its existence and nothing more. But this power, this ring, it made it so he couldn’t ignore it, so it was all he thought about, almost all he felt.

He was at least capable of thinking for himself, of making his own decisions, and for that he couldn’t be more grateful.

In a way he wondered if he could control it, if he could maybe use it for something other than pain and vengeance. His training with Guy so far had shown it was possible, that he could do a lot more with these powers if he just let himself work through it. But the thing was he didn’t want to. He knew it was childish, knew ignoring his problems would only make them worse, but he just couldn’t. Not now, not again. He’d already worked through so much, already faced so many monsters and demons, he just wanted, needed, this one thing too not be his problem anymore.

Unfortunately it seemed that Guy had picked up on his indecision, telling him he could “take his time” and he “didn’t need to make a decision now” and the real kicker of “it’s okay to keep the ring if that’s what you want”. Dick could practically feel his blood boiling at the memory. Who the hell did Guy think he was saying shit like that? Of course he needed to get rid of the ring.

He knew Guy had been a Red Lantern at some point, he’d made no secret of it, and Dick was sure he’d done great things in the role. But he just couldn’t see how someone could hold onto this thing and still be good, still be normal and human and whole.

No, he was getting rid of this thing, that was final.

At least he got something out of the whole ordeal he supposed. How long would it have taken to find out about Jason’s role as a Sapphire? To learn where he’d been for all those months? For all their differences Dick had been terrified when news came in of his disappearance. All he did was think about all of their wasted opportunities, how he’d let him down again. Now, now he had a second chance, and by god he’d be an idiot to not take advantage of it.

He left the hotel room’s small shower room, Jason and Kyle’s voices filling the main area. They seemed to be in a heated discussion about...pants? Whatever, it’s not like it mattered anyway. He knew what happened to Jason now, had the opportunity to patch things up, to actually get to know him, that’s what mattered. So much of what he knew about the younger man was just speculation and things he’d heard from other people. He finally had a chance to rectify that, unlike if he were still ringless in Gotham.

“You’re wearing pants and that’s final,” Jason hissed.

The sentence was just too absurd for Dick to not turn and look, finding Jason cuddled with Kyle on their bed. And Jason was... the little spoon? What the fuck? They were still sitting, with Kyle’s back to the wall and Jason’s back to his chest, but seriously, what alternate universe did he get dropped into that had Jason, big, muscular, gun toting, leather wearing, no fucks given Jason, as the little spoon?

It hurt his head to even think of all the ways this situation felt wrong. He wouldn’t judge Jason for that sort of thing, never. Dick had been in enough relationships, knew his own preferences enough to know how nice being cuddled was. It just, it felt weird. Especially when you added in the sheer size difference between the two. Jason was taller and way more built than Kyle could ever hope to be. Hell, with the two in such close quarters Kyle looked even slimmer. How the hell did this happen?

“It’s only a few days, I think you can handle that,” Jason said with an arched brow.

Kyle was absolutely pouting, even from across the room Dick could see that. “’s not like it’s anything he hasn’t seen before,” he grumbled, tightening his arms around Jason’s middle.

Dick dropped onto his bed, realizing what they were bickering about. He cursed himself for agreeing to this. Surely sharing a room with John, or even Hal and Guy and all their quirks would be better than having these weird realizations about his sort of younger brother. Surely it would be better than hearing that same brother fighting with his boyfriend over _pants_ of all things. Matter of fact, why the hell couldn’t they get three rooms? He’d share a bed with John if he needed to, it couldn’t be as awkward as this.

“That’s not the point,” Jason huffed as he untangled himself from Kyle’s limbs so they could head towards the shower. “Just, ugh, for fuck’s sake Kyle, don’t be an ass.”

“But you like my ass,” Kyle whined.

“Which means this hurts me a lot more than it hurts you. Pants stay on.”

Dick hit his forehead on the mattress, holding in the groan that was quickly rising up his throat. He’s never been this bad right? Sure, he and his exes fought and bickered over stupid things, but over nudity? Over pants? This was just... he couldn’t even think of a word to properly describe the pain. And that was before the realization hit that Donna’s comments about Kyle’s clothing preferences, or lack thereof, appeared to be true.

He could hear something shifting near his head, felt it over his shoulders, and it didn’t take long to realize it was his hair shifting and showing his irritation. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the mass to stop. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Jason or start something. Honestly it was, but he could feel that irritation bubbling up. And at such a stupid thing too.

Thankfully they left the main room before it came to that, with Kyle sounding dejected but ultimately accepting of his fate at the promise of getting his back rubbed. Dick snorted. Kyle Rayner, the man of will, once the only Green Lantern, more recently the only White Lantern, was defeated by his boyfriend’s disapproving gaze and the promise of a backrub.

He couldn’t really blame him though, Dick would kill for one right about now.

He groaned into the mattress, realizing what he thought. Kill was definitely not he word he should be using, especially now. He’d held a man’s life in his hands, had ended it like it was nothing. Sure, that man was the Joker, yes, most would call him a monster before a man, but he was still a person.

Dick forced the thought away, being careful not to rip a hole in the bedding. He shouldn’t be thinking about this, especially not with this damned ring on his finger heightening his anger. It wouldn’t be good, not at all.

He rolled onto his back, a dingy old ceiling meeting his view. What was he even doing here? Really, what good could he do on this little planet? He knew why they were here, John had been more than thorough in his explanation, and Guy had made it clear he was willing to explain anything else for him, he just... felt useless he supposed.

A spark of anger rose up his spine, twisting his features as he glared towards the ceiling. He hated this feeling, absolutely despised it. He wanted to do something, needed to, but he couldn’t. The Green Lanterns had their orders, they knew what they were doing. They didn’t need his help. But he couldn’t just sit by and relax, he couldn’t.

“Dick, you alright?”

Jason’s voice pulled him from those thoughts, forcing his eyes away from the odd yellow and orange stains. The younger man was looking at him with concern and wariness, like he didn’t know what to do with what he saw. Dick couldn’t blame him, not really.

“I think you already know the answer to that,” he murmured.

The look of sadness on Jason’s face was not something he’d expected. He’d expect it from Steph or Cass or Duke, maybe Tim or Babs or even Damian depending on the day, but definitely not Jason.

“Let us know if you need anything,” Kyle said as he walked past Jason. “Sleep well.”

Jason rolled his eyes, huffing at the other man. “You and your sleep.”

“It’s important!”

“Yeah yeah,” he said, lightly shoving Kyle towards their bed. Kyle went without a fuss, throwing himself down on the bed so he’d bounce a few times. Dick could remember doing that more than once, mostly when he was younger. Those were the days weren’t they? Back before everything went to shit.

“Seriously though Dick, just, I’m here okay?”

Dick nodded, not really able to do much more than that, and Jason shuffled off to join Kyle. Watching him go, Dick caught sight of Kyle and the pants that were definitely not his. An old pair of sweatpants that he remembered Jason wearing were barely hanging onto his hips, the cord pulled tight in an attempt to keep him decent. So it really was true then.

Another thing he noticed was the almost immediate physical contact between the two, how Kyle reached for Jason even before the other was fully laid down. It was sweet in a way, only that sweetness took a different turn when Dick remembered Jason’s ability to read people, how he needed physical contact to do it. He had his concerns about those two, and that little ability of his had Dick’s eyebrow raising. Either way, the two were out quickly, their soft snores filling the room and lulling Dick to follow right behind them.

* * *

Lundi was definitely one of the driest places Jason had visited thus far, at least this part of it anyway. It wasn’t that it was hot per say, but it definitely wasn’t cool either. As they made their way through the city center and stopped to talk to different merchants and traders, Jason couldn’t really compare it to anywhere he’d been. The closest thing to the capital city might be some of the markets and bazaars Talia had taken him to a few years back when she just needed someone to dote on and didn’t believe Damian would be willing. The various bits of jewelry and clothing certainly felt similar at least. The dry heat definitely did.

“We can’t live without it, I’m telling you,” a merchant was telling John. “Nidu is that important to us.”

Nidu, that’s what brought them here. This all important resource that the locals just couldn’t live without, they were supposed to find it somehow. The question now of course being how they were supposed to do that.

“I bet those bastards from Bixia did this,” an older merchant said. “They’ve always been jealous of Lundi’s success.”

John was quick to raise his hands in a bid to placate the two. “We’ll look into it,” he promised. “For now though we don’t want to make any assumptions of guilt. Our first priority is finding the nidu, once that’s done we can look into how it disappeared.”

The hairs around the second merchant’s neck stood up, his lips shriveling in anger. “Lundi has grown well beyond what Bixia could ever hope to be. That’s your evidence right there.”

“We’ll look into it,” John repeated. “Thank you for your time.”

“Please do work quickly,” the first merchant pleaded, receiving a scoff from his colleague.

They left the stand quickly, leaving the two behind. They weaved through the crowd, keeping close to each other as they went.

“I take it we need to find this thing quick huh?” Jason asked once he got closer to John.

“That would be an understatement,” John answered.

Behind them they could hear Guy and Kyle oohing and awing at everything around, Hal soon joining them in wondering what the various street food might taste like. They tried to pull Dick into the conversation, but aside from a few murmurs they didn’t get much.

“Lundi and Bixia have actually been in talks, along with a few other planets, of working together and sharing business,” John explained. “If Lundi loses this resource they lose their place at the table. Tensions already seem high with certain groups of people here, they’ll only get worse if we can’t find it. Trade is necessary between planets in this sector, this could start a trade war, bring with it tariffs, all the things you don’t want.”

“It could really get that bad? Over this one thing?” Jason asked.

John clasped his shoulder, the weight of his gaze keeping him grounded. “Planets have gone to war for less. Hell, just think of Earth’s wars. It’s really not that strange when you think about it.”

Jason nodded in understanding, the various warnings John and the others had given him before he was allowed on missions running through his head. There was a reason they told him those things after all, there’s a reason why protocols were in place for Lanterns who got caught up in those sorts of conflicts.

“We’ll be fine Jason,” John assured him. “This is nothing. Honestly, I’ve dealt with much worse, and that was before Guy and Hal had each other as a distraction. This shouldn’t take any time at all.”

John moved back to the others, letting himself be pulled into the argument on whether the street food looked more like bread or sushi. Dick walked beside Jason, looking around in frustration. It was hard to ignore the twitching of the man’s hair, even with it in such a tight ponytail, or the way his eyes darted around like he was looking for an escape. Watching him, Jason made his decision and shuffled closer, letting the others pass ahead of them.

“Some of this stuff reminds me way too much Earth, and not in a good way,” he said with a rueful grin.

Dick nodded hesitantly. “I suppose,” he agreed. “I guess I’m more surprised with them than anything,” he said gesturing to the others. “I guess, I don’t know. Interplanetary disputes, trade, tariffs? This isn’t exactly what I imagined when I thought about what a Lantern’s job entailed.”

Jason chuckled at that. “You though they were all just meat heads or something?”

Dick shrunk in on himself a bit, looking off to the side. “Yeah. They all just seem like goof balls, all except for maybe John. It doesn’t make sense why they would be in charge of this sort of thing.”

“They’re goof balls, yeah, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be serious or do their job right,” he shrugged. “Hell, some people see you as a bit of a goof ball, you know? All friendly and light hearted and shit, doesn’t mean it stops you from being Nightwing or running the Titans or even training new heroes. Doesn’t stop Damian from respecting you, even with all the shit he’s said about it before.”

Dick stared back at him, brows creased as though this was the first time he’d considered such a thing. Considering how serious and hard he was being on himself Jason wouldn’t be surprised.

“Looks can be deceiving,” he told him, an awkward smile working its way to his lips. “You’d know that better than anyone.”

Dick nodded, lips pulled tight in a grimace, before he focused on the road ahead. Jason was tempted to say something else, to try and offer some other support, to make it clear how worried he was, but he held himself back. Dick wouldn’t react well to him doing such things, that much was clear. Dick wasn’t the fun, bubbly personality he normally was right now. There was no sense in expecting him to be.

It didn’t take long for the group to learn where the nidu was collected. The locals were thankfully more than willing to talk to them. They’d need to fly there, the journey taking too long otherwise. Looking around as they flew, Jason was starting to get a feeling of what might have happened.

“Is it supposed to look like this?” he asked, gesturing to the ground below them. “It looks like there’s been an earthquake or a tornado or something.”

John hummed from his position at the head of the group. “Lundi has some issues with natural disasters from what I’ve heard, but they don’t talk about it. Only seems to happen in unpopulated areas and they’re worried saying anything might scare tourists away.”

“It would explain some of this at least,” Hal said as he looked towards a large crack in the ground.

“It’s really beautiful though,” Kyle said wistfully.

“Damn artist,” Guy chuckled, “always going on about things being pretty and the composition and the lighting and oh my god do you see how beautiful those colors are together?.”

“I’m just saying,” Kyle whined.

“That you’ve got a thing for disasters?” Jason teased.

Kyle opened his mouth, looking like he was going to defend himself before he noticed the look Jason was sending him. “Like you don’t have a thing for a hot mess or two,” he rebutted.

“Hmm, burning warehouses full of narcs is a sight to behold.”

Kyle rolled his eyes, pushing him with a smirk. “I can think of a few others.”

They continued on further away from the city. Jason could feel Dick’s eyes on them, watching and calculating. He wanted to be grateful for the other’s attention, but without knowing why he was keeping such a close watch on him and Kyle he couldn’t know. Maybe he was just happy for them, maybe he was sizing them up, seeing if they were serious, or maybe he was doing the over bearing big brother thing. He didn’t know, and frankly Jason didn’t know how to ask.

“So what exactly are we supposed to be looking at here?” Kyle asked once they reached what looked like a lake. The only problem was that it was empty.

“A lake of nidu,” John answered as he kneeled down to get a closer look at the ground. “Usually it’s a liquid, or something like slime, but it can be hardened too. Changes from a really light blue to a deep maroon when that happens.”

“So either way, there should be something here,” Kyle said.

“Exactly.”

“Is this stuff is just used to make decorations then?” Dick asked. “Doesn’t sound important enough to start a war over at the very least.”

“It’s spiritual to certain groups as well, on top of its visual appeal,” John answered.

“It helps that no other planet has discovered the stuff as far as we know or if someone has they haven’t taken advantage of it like Lundi has,” Hal explained.

“Well it doesn’t look like they’ve got any here either.” Guy hopped down into the lake’s area, inspecting a few small cracks. “Bone fucking dry.”

Dick watched them scan the area, moving to follow. “Is there a source to follow? Like how a river might connect to a lake or vice versa?”

Guy grinned back at him. “Now there’s an idea.”

Jason watched as they scanned everything, then looked up to take in the lake. The thing was huge, it could take days to scan all of it, let alone follow a river. “It’s pretty big though.”

“Don’t worry,” Hal clapped him on the shoulder, “we’ve got time.”

Jason’s eyes darted back to Dick, back to the ring he clearly hated. Did they really have time? Really?

“Splitting up would be most efficient,” John offered.

Hal clapped his hands together, a light shining in his eyes. “Yes, that’s perfect!”

It was hard to miss how Kyle was moving towards Jason. The man wasn’t subtle at all. His journey was cut short as Guy pulled him away, dragging him to his side and whispering something in his ear. Jason could only assume he was saying something about letting Jason pick who he went with, or to let him and Dick go together. Whatever it was had Kyle sulking, though he reigned in his composure soon enough.

Hal quickly took everyone’s attention, splitting them up and sending them on their way, leaving Jason and Dick to head west together. They lifted up, waving good bye to the others as they went their own way. No big deal, this would be fine.

* * *

Kyle didn’t like how the pairing happened. He wasn’t angry or anything, more like annoyed. He got Guy’s insistence on having Jason and Dick go together, he understood that just fine. He also understood why he’d latched onto Kyle as his partner, letting Hal and John go off towards the center of the empty lake together. That didn’t mean he was happy about it.

“What do you think is gonna happen?” he asked.

Guy seemed to hear him thankfully, even if he didn’t catch what he meant. “We’ll find this stuff and be on our way in no time, like always. Nothing to worry about.”

“No,” Kyle said, tight lipped. “I mean with Dick.”

They slowed down in their flying, with Guy staring at him in question. “What? You worried he’ll steal Jason back to Gotham and away from you or something?” he asked, trying for a joke. Neither were laughing though, and it was easy to see why.

Kyle looked down at the ground far below, his fingers pinching at the fabric on his leg, silent. Guy blew out a small sigh, looking off to the side himself before looking back.

“Look Kyle, I don’t know, and I don’t want to assume anything, but it’s pretty obvious Dick’s dealing with some shit. Even looking past all the anger that made him a Red, there’s a lot. It’s becoming a pattern actually, now that I think about it,” he said as he rubbed the side of his neck. “All these guys coming out of Gotham, first Jason, now Dick, hell even the little one, the current Robin, even he’s got his issues. I’d wager that for all his talk, he doesn’t have that high an opinion of himself.”

Kyle stared back at him, trying to make the information make sense. “You think Wayne’s making them like this? These self-loathing husks?”

“I can’t say for sure. There’s a lot of different things to factor in, and Wayne’s only one piece of the puzzle. Without sitting down and talking it out with Dick, really analyzing the situation, which I doubt he’d agree to, there’s no way for me to figure out the cause.”

“So if Jason does go back...” Images started forming in his mind. Jason returning to Gotham, returning to life as a vigilante, falling in with the bats, falling back into that black hole of despair and doubt, thinking he was somehow worth less than everyone. He’d cut off contact with Kyle and the other Lanterns, it might not be immediate, but it would happen without a doubt. The idea sent panic right through Kyle, a bright yellow racing up his spine. No, he couldn’t let that happen, never.

“I don’t know,” Guy repeated, pulling him out of his panic, even if only slightly. “There’s no telling what could happen in that situation. It could be Wayne, yeah, but it could also just be Gotham or their roles as vigilantes or they have some personality trait that was there before they even knew each other and it’s just a weird coincidence that they all happened to wind up in the same place. Hell, it could be magic or some family curse for all we know.”

“You don’t actually believe any of that, do you?”

“Not at all. What I do know is that something is fucked up over there and it needs fixed before it’s too late. That and Jason ain’t going anywhere near that godforsaken city without one of us around.”

“But the only people allowed in Gotham are the bats,” Kyle reminded him.

“Not for long.” Guy laughed at Kyle’s confusion. “Eh, I might’ve had a little chitchat with Simon and Jess before we left. Supes and Wondy too. There’s no guarantee _but_...”

“It’s likely.”

“Very.”

Guy motioned for Kyle to continue forward so they could resume their flight around the edge of the lake. Kyle meant what he said earlier about the sight being beautiful, though looking closer he could understand why others might not. Toppled trees and large cracks in the earth were usually not a welcome sight to most people, no matter how visually appealing they might be. If anything it spelled disaster, which lined up with John’s theory.

How nice would it be to see this without the others he wondered. Just him and his surroundings, a sketchbook or canvas in hand, all the paints and pastels he could ever hope for. Maybe even with Jason at his side, waxing poetically about the scene before them as he studied Kyle, his hand loose on Kyle’s thigh as he watched him work. Oh that’d be so nice.

“—things going with Jason?”

Kyle shook his head frantically, breaking up the daydream. Not now, not right now. “Uh, sorry, what?”

Guy shook his head fondly, more than used to Kyle zoning out by now. “How are things with you and Jason? Everything’s looking good from where I’m standing, doesn’t hurt to ask though.”

“What? Worried I’m gonna scare away your maybe future step-son?” he joked. “It’s going great, better than I could have expected actually. Makes me feels like an idiot for not approaching him after the whole multiverse thing.”

“Do tell.”

“I was kind of an asshole, got jealous and possessive I guess? I don’t know, I thought he was trying to make a move on Donna and I was still kinda, you know.”

Guy blew a long whistle, his face showing his own disbelief at whatever he was remembering. “Been there,” he said in support.

“The guy gave me an identity crisis, okay? Like yeah, I noticed some guys before. You don’t work with guys like Wally or Roy or Connor and not start getting ideas and shit. But it was always, I don’t know, isolated I guess, there wasn’t this tension. But there was always this weird tension with Jason, and him plus Donna of all people just, it wasn’t a good combination for me at the time and I couldn’t stand the thought of maybe liking this guy who I thought had the hots for Donna. Who I still had a thing for.”

“So? Then what?”

Kyle heaved a sigh, rubbing his arm with a grimace. “So I kind of took my stress and anger at the situation and threw it all at him.”

Guy watched him, clearly understanding his regret. “And now it feel like ya wasted three years.”

“Exactly.”

Thankfully they found a pretty sizeable crack in the ground, ending their conversation before it got anymore touchy feely. Kyle didn’t know if he could go on with that particular trail of memory lane. He knew he’d been an asshole back then, knew they all were to some extent, but stopping and thinking about it only made him realize how much worse he’d been.

Drifting down, he could see they’d be able to at least fit an arm in the crack, if not their whole torso it was so large. Guy went to peer in first, returning quickly to usher Kyle in for his observation.

“There’s something down there, can’t tell what it is though,” he said as Kyle crouched down. “What’s the color look like?”

Kyle stopped for a second, confusion running through him before he remembered why Guy would be asking that. He looked back to the crack, vying for the small bits of color he could see. It still made him chuckle a bit when he remembered why he knew of this little tidbit of information about Guy. Really, what did Guy expect saying things like “It’s always the blue bastards, ain’t it?” when the perp they’d been chasing was orange?

“Mid-tone blue, moving towards an indigo,” he relayed. “Looks like a thick liquid. Not much though.”

“That might just be it then.” Guy made quick work of instructing his ring to scan the crack, receiving a positive on identifying the resource.

“Have you told Hal yet?” Kyle asked as Guy marked the location in his ring.

“’bout what?”

“The whole colorblind thing. I know it’s not really my place or anything. It’s not that big a deal anyway. Just figure if I were you it’d be something I’d want my partner to know even if I didn’t tell the rest of the corps.”

Guy shook his head, looking off to the side as he finished his work. “No. We’ve been working together for so long, feels weird to just bring it up now.”

“Not really.” Kyle tried to keep his voice as comforting as possible, though he knew he probably wasn’t the best at it. “You’re not telling him ‘cause you have to, you’re telling him because you want him to know more about you, to understand you and everything. Relationships are a give and take, yeah? He can’t really give you what you need if he doesn’t have the information to do it.”

“You really are a sap, you know that?”

“Like you aren’t,” Kyle countered, lightly punching his shoulder. “Hal’s not an idiot. If anything he might already know and just didn’t want to make it a big deal.”

“I already told you how we got together kid. Trust me, he might not be an idiot, but he can be oblivious as all hell.”

“Hmm, good point.”

They were interrupted as the others established a connection to their rings. It seemed that Hal and John had found a small reservoir close to the center of the lake, though they couldn’t find a source for it. Jason’s voice came through, letting them know that he and Dick hadn’t found anything yet.

Hearing Jason’s voice sent a thrill up his spine, the deep tones soothing what little nerves he’d built up. But then it reminded him of the night before, of Dick’s face when they’d joked around, that “just fuck already” expression he’d worn.

“Hey Guy,” he began once the line was cut. “Is it weird that Jason and I haven’t, well, you know?”

“Had sex? No, why? Someone say something?”

“No, no, I mean, it’s just. Oh, how do I put this? Ugh, you and I, we aren’t exactly prudish—“

“Excuse you,” Guy interrupted with a grin, “only one of us here has the decency to wear a jacket and cover up and it certainly isn’t you.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“I’m just saying. If you want to see the goods you’ve gotta go ‘round back. The rest of you just leave it all there for everyone to see. Therefore, if anyone is modest or prudish here, that would be me.”

Kyle face palmed, there was really nothing left to do other than shake his head at the sheer absurdity that was Guy Gardner. Thankfully Guy pulled himself back together quickly, returning to a more serious tone.

“It’s not weird Kyle, promise. Besides, you don’t know Jason’s history, and chances are he doesn’t know yours. He might be in the corps that’s all about love and shit, but that doesn’t make it sexual. We’ve had to work with him on self-love, you’ve been handling romantic. It might take a while for the whole sexual aspect to come into play. Some people just need more time for that sort of thing.”

“You say that like you and Hal weren’t fucking like rabbits the minute you got together.”

“Hey, I made him wait a whole week before we did anything. Hal was the one trying to get lucky on the flight back to Oa.”

“Oh god, forget I said anything,” Kyle complained as he threw his hands over his ears.

“Nah, but seriously, give it time. I’ve heard things about the Sapphire rings doing weird shit during sex anyways, best not to rush into these things.” Guy turned an absolutely evil smirk on him, eyes sparkling as he said, “I guess you’ll just be going the tried and true method of the solo ring slinger for a while then, huh?”

“Oh sweet Jesus.”

“Wait, wait, I lied. _John’s_ the one with those bonuses, you’re stuck with the old Mr. Left and Mr. Right.”

It took a lot to make Kyle blush. As he said, he wasn’t prudish, nudity meant nothing to him, but those were fighting words right there, and images and memories he didn’t need to think about right now.

* * *

Jason couldn’t say how many cracks they’d come across so far. There were a lot to say the least, and he knew they were probably over looking quite a few, but there were just so many of them out here. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack, only instead it was blue sludge in a crack.

“It’s a bit weird isn’t it?” Dick asked as they started their survey of yet another one. “You’d think if this were some kind of natural disaster things wouldn’t look so neat. It’d be more random.”

“True,” Jason agreed. “But it’s entirely possible it is natural. The planet might be like Earth in some ways, but it’s still going to have its differences.”

A light blue rested in a corner of the crack. It wasn’t much, but it was definitely some of the nidu.

“You know what’s weird?” Jason asked as he set the location in his ring. “How little of this stuff is in these cracks. It’s like it got moved or something.”

“Evaporated maybe?”

“If that happened it wouldn’t all be at once though, would it?”

“Hmm.”

They continued to search through more and more cracks along their route. Jason had to wonder how freaking large this lake was. They’d been searching for at least a few hours now and they were nowhere near the other side of it. Hell, they couldn’t even see the others aside from a faint green speck in the distance that he assumed was Hal and John.

Dick tapped his arm, gesturing down to yet another crack inside the lake’s perimeter. As they descended it quickly became apparent just how big this one was. Jason could easily slip down into it if he wanted, and Dick could probably fit in right beside him.

“I feel something,” Dick said after they landed, shifting his feet slightly. “Feels like, water? Some kind of rushing liquid below us, like you feel in a cave.”

Shining the light from his ring down, Jason could see an opening in the crack, leading into some kind of space below. He couldn’t see too much from his vantage point, only that there was something there.

“We should investigate,” Dick murmured.

“Yeah, wouldn’t be a bad idea.” Jason agreed. He stood up, running through his options. They needed to check this out. It could be the answer, or at least give them a clue, as to where all the nidu went. But he felt apprehensive about it, like something could go wrong. If it were just him he’d be fine going in, but with Dick here... He willed up his ring’s communication quickly, setting it for Hal before he could second guess himself.

“Hey what’s up,” Hal asked almost immediately. “You two find anything?”

“Yeah. There’s an opening in one of the cracks. It looks like there might be a tunnel or something below the lake. We’re gonna check it out,” he relayed.

Hal’s visage turned to the side, no doubt interacting with John wherever they were. “Okay,” Hal said turning back to him, “send me your location, I’ll start heading your way just in case. And be careful, you don’t know what could be down there.”

“Roger that,” he agreed, severing the connection as he sent the information. Turning back to Dick, he once again saw that pained look on his face. It was becoming apparent that Jason’s interactions with the Lanterns was upsetting Dick in some way, he just couldn’t put his finger on why. Then again, he hadn’t exactly been thrilled to learn that Hal would be Jason’s dad either. It probably had something to do with that. “Let’s go,” he said, nodding to the hole before jumping down. He let himself free fall for a few seconds, enjoying the feeling of the air on his face, before slowing his decent and landing.

He looked back up towards the opening and watched as Dick maneuvered his way in, landing graceful as ever on the smooth ground below. What Jason would’ve given to learn to land that easily as quickly as Dick had.

“Nice landing,” he said instead, shoving that bit of jealousy away. “You’re doing really well, especially considering you haven’t had the ring for long.”

“At least there’s one good thing this ring can do.”

The tone made Jason’s head snap around, eyes trained on Dick once more instead of their surroundings. “Dick...”

“I don’t know Jason, I have no idea,” Dick said to the unasked question. “I just know I should be back on Earth taking care of Gotham and the others, not out here dealing with some scavenger hunt.” He sighed, his fists held tight as his eyes glowed. “This ring has brought me nothing but trouble.”

Jason couldn’t keep his eyes on Dick, not that Dick was watching enough to notice. If it weren’t for Dick getting the ring Jason had no idea when they’d see each other again, or if he ever would’ve had a reason to return to Earth and see Dick and the rest of the family. Sure, he couldn’t talk about whatever the ring and the Red Lanterns had Dick do, he couldn’t talk about the rage the ring made Dick feel, but he could relate. He could remember the Pit Rage that had coursed through his veins, could relate to feeling like nothing was right or made sense. He could relate, but he was clearly not the one Dick wanted to hear that from.

“We’ll get that ring off of you,” he promised with a hand on Dick’s shoulder, even as his voice came out flat. “Then you can go back to Earth and be with the family and everything. You won’t have to be out here dealing with this shit, with me and the others after that, promise.”

Dick recoiled at the promise, his eyes wide as he stared after Jason who had started down the tunnel. “Jason, wait! I didn’t mean it like—“

“I know you didn’t,” Jason said over his shoulder. “Doesn’t make it any less true. Now come on, we’ve got a job to do.”

He started walking again, hearing Dick’s answering footsteps a few moments later. He bit his lip, forcing himself to stay looking ahead. He knew he was probably a bit cruel, a bit harsh even, but he had a limit just as everyone did. Dick wanted so bad to go back to Gotham, to go take care of everyone, like he hadn’t just been handed power and an opportunity to use it for good, like that’s what’s holding him back. No, Jason understood anger, he understood having rage settle and live within him uninvited, but he also knew it needed to be directed somewhere, that it could be beneficial if he just pointed it at the right target. He would have said it would take time to get to that, to getting Dick to understand that the anger needed to be pointed at someone other than himself, but Dick had put them on a timeline. Jason was just working within it.

Jason noticed the vibrations in the ground as they went, that feeling of rushing water that Dick had mentioned earlier. At some point a small, thin stream started to run along the edge of the tunnel, its color an almost pure white thanks to its liquid form. He felt a spark of excitement burn through him at the sight, and felt it grow hotter and hotter the longer the stream went on for. The stream began to widen, and the sound of splashing caught up to him, making Jason speed up even more. He turned back to relay the news to Dick only to be met with his lifeless stare. What little restraint Jason had was ripped away.

“Why the fuck are you so against the ring? I get it, you don’t want the damn thing, but you’re seriously taking the pity party way too fucking far,” he snapped.

Dick’s lips snarled, his hair snapped behind him. “For fuck’s sake Jason, I killed a man and I nearly killed Bruce. What do you think I’m gonna feel right now?”

“You killed a monster, a damn murderer who’d go on to do it again and again and again, just as he’s always done.”

“You may not have an issue with a body count, but I—“

“Like you and Bruce and everyone else didn’t have one before.”

“You seem to be confusing us for each other,” Dick growled, his voice getting steadily louder as he stalked closer to Jason. “Last time I checked the only one who’s used lethal methods is _you_.”

“Oh yeah, you’re _so_ non-lethal,” Jason snarled. “Is that what you all tell yourselves so you can sleep at night? So you can stick your heads in the sand and act like people don’t die from the ‘non-lethal’ injuries you leave them with? Is that what you tell yourselves when a criminal you let walk out of Gotham’s corrupt judicial system kills someone? No Dick, every last one of you has blood on your hands. I’m just the only one willing to be honest about it.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Dick snapped, now right up in Jason’s face. There was something there, some kind of panic or terror at something in his eyes. Any other time Jason might have stopped to figure it out. This time though, this time he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He couldn’t even bring himself to flinch at Dick’s sharp words. Really, he couldn’t even make himself hold onto his anger. Disappointment bled into him as he looked back at Dick, taking notes of all the similarities between Dick’s rage and Bruce’s outraged denial. They were damn near identical. It was made him sick to even consider. “That ring is little more than a tool Dick. Like any tool it can be used for good or evil. Right now you’re only focusing on the later, and I’m pretty sure that’s why you’re feeling like shit right now, why you’ve been feeling that way for the past few days.”

“This ring,” Dick snarled, holding his hand up with a murderous glint in his eyes, “is only capable of hurting. I won’t be complicit in that.”

“You sure about that? Because you don’t seem to have any issues right now.”

Dick jerked back looking like he’d been slapped.

“I only want to help you Dick,” Jason said again, sadness creeping into his voice. “I know we don’t have the best track record, but I just hoped I could do something for you, help you, mend this bridge type of shit. Guess I was wrong.”

He returned to the stream, feeling Dick at his back. It took longer to hear his footsteps this time, and harder to hear them when they did start. He didn’t let that distract him though, not when their little tunnel opened up to a large cavern with a pool of nidu down below them.

Forgetting the argument, Jason rushed forward to study the sight, confirming that this was what they were looking for. It definitely wasn’t the whole lake, not even close, but if there was one cavern like this maybe there was others that the lake somehow drained into.

Another vibration was felt throughout the tunnel. Jason couldn’t quite place it, it didn’t feel strong enough to be an earthquake, but then again maybe those were different here.

He heard Dick yelling at him just as he heard something give above him. He looked up in time to see rocks falling towards him, more than enough to trap him, if not crush him. He moved to construct a shield, hoping he could hold it against the force of the rocks, only to see a streak of red obliterate them instead. Jason dropped the shield, looking over to Dick, finding him gaping at the wall behind Jason in horror.

Dick’s beam had hit the rocks falling towards Jason, yes, but that energy had also hit the wall behind him. More rocks came loose, falling and closing off their entrance. They stared as the dust settled, the rocks blocking their way out. Jason turned back to Dick, meeting his eyes as they realized what had happened.

“Fuck.”

* * *

It had barely been an hour but it felt like days to Dick. “Hold tight” the others had said. “You might cause a cave in” they warned. Argh, it was all so frustrating. Jason was off further into the cavern, his violet glow telling Dick exactly where he was even from this far away. God, Jason...

Those rocks had been aiming right for him. At that trajectory, and with the size of those things, he could have been severely hurt if not killed. Sure, his ring might have protected him, and he might have managed to make a shield in time, but that didn’t change the fact that it had been a very real possibility. Had Dick not blasted those rocks... he couldn’t even imagine.

He looked down at his hand, the glowing red ring staring right back. Jason kept talking about the ring as a tool, that it wasn’t all good or all bad, that it just depended on how he used it. Guy had told him the same thing before, but he just, he couldn’t believe that.

But without his ring Jason could have been...

Looking over, he saw Jason floating through the cavern as he searched for another exit. It shouldn’t, but it surprised Dick how fluidly he moved, how smooth his movements were. Jason wasn’t a small man, he was big and broad and easily rivaled Bruce for the largest man in the family. Seeing him move like that, like he weighed nothing at all, felt odd, wrong even. It didn’t help that for how used to the sky Dick was, for how accustomed he was to being airborne, flying felt completely unnatural to him. It didn’t feel wrong, but it certainly didn’t feel normal.

Jason, always bound by gravity, burdened to forever be stuck on the ground, floated like he was made for the sky, like he belonged there. It pulled something in Dick’s gut, an anger at his own feelings of inadequacy. He shouldn’t feel that, shouldn’t be angry at Jason. None of this was his fault. So why did he feel this way?

“Did you find anything?” he called out, hoping to drive the anger away.

Jason flew back to him, landing light as a feather. “It’s definitely nidu,” he said. “There seems to be another opening in that wall over there, but it’s way too small for us to go through.”

Dick nodded his understanding, then turned back to staring at the cavern. Jason spent a moment standing, staring down at him, before dropping down, laying back, and closing his eyes, without saying a thing.

Seeing him so close, so at ease, it brought their argument to the front of his mind. Dick could begrudgingly admit that Jason had been correct, that they’d all likely had a hand in killing someone, intentional or not, at some point. But with Dick, well, he couldn’t exactly call it unintentional he supposed.

“I killed the joker,” he murmured barely audible.

Jason heaved a tired sigh, throwing an arm over his face. “We’ve already established that Dick. Trust me, I know. I saw the footage.”

“No, I mean, I mean before,” he tried to explain as pain lanced through his chest. Why was this so difficult? “Back when Tim was Robin and you were still... I killed him. I beat him to death.”

Jason struggled to a seated position, staring at Dick in confusion. “That’s not, then how was he?”

Frustration bubbled within him as the memory resurfaced. “Bruce came in, revived him somehow.”

Silence was his only answer, as Jason at a loss for words. He was clearly trying to say something, to make sense of the new information, but couldn’t seem to make his voice work.

“I thought he killed Tim,” Dick confessed. “Barbara, Dinah, and I, we all did. I went ahead and took the initiative to end it. Then he said your name, and I lost it. I’ve killed him twice now Jason, both times because I couldn’t control my anger. This ring,” he waved his hand up, the ring glowing for all to see, “it terrifies me. I know what I can do, what I’ve already done, when anger takes over. I can’t let that happen again.”

“Then we’ll work through hit,” Jason said, finally finding his voice again. “We can treat it like some exposure therapy or something. Anger is a normal emotion to have, just like love or happiness. You just need to know how to use it, how to make it work for you rather than against you. Whether you keep that ring or not, that’s something you’ll need to work through.”

Dick squeezed his eyes shut, hot angry tears being held back. “I just want things to go back to the way they were.”

“Do you really though?” Jason asked sadly. “Because, honestly, I know I don’t.”

“Of course I do!” Dick snapped. “Everything was fine. Bruce wasn’t hurt, the family was together, you were still on Earth, still with us. Why wouldn’t I want that?”

“Still with you, where I was miserable? All of those things can be seen as both good and bad, it just depends on how rose tinted your glasses are. If things went back, yeah I’d still be on Earth, yeah you guys wouldn’t have ever worried or searched for me, but I’d still be miserable. I’d still be an outcast. I wouldn’t have the amazing friends and colleagues that I do now. I wouldn’t have explored all those planets or met all those amazing people. I wouldn’t have a relationship with Kyle, if anything we’d still have that weird aggression between us for no reason. I wouldn’t have a family with the Lanterns and the Sapphires. I wouldn’t have a dad that I know actually cares about me.”

“And what about everyone else, huh? What about Bruce?” Dick demanded.

“Bruce would have run himself into the ground at some point. Let’s be real here, he was already halfway there, it was going to happen sooner rather than later. Does it suck that he’ll probably have some disability for the rest of his life? Yes, but I’d rather that than him dead. I’d rather he be in a position where when he sees the shit he’s done he can’t just ignore it or pass the blame like he has nearly every time before. The man’s been given a second chance at life whether he wants to accept it or not.

“Hell, while we’re talking about second chances, what about the others? Tim, Babs, Damian? All of them now have opportunities that they wouldn’t have ever been given otherwise. Cass, Duke, Steph, all of them, they can decide who they want to be without Bruce breathing down their necks twenty-four seven. I’m not saying I’m rejoicing at the old man’s plight, but I’m also not gonna lie to myself and say he and everyone else was better off before.”

The emotion in Jason voice was enough to make Dick pause. Jason wasn’t one for showing emotion, not in this way. He wasn’t the type to make these impassioned speeches and statements about second chances and new beginnings. It was hard to admit, but Dick could see that he might be right.

“What do you think they’re doing back home?” he asked quickly.

“Probably waiting for you,” Jason huffed, resting his chin on a bent knee. “I have no idea. They need a fucking vacation the lot of them, and I can’t imagine they’re taking one.”

“Roy and Kori are probably still around, I’m sure they’re getting their help.”

“With how stubborn everyone is?”

Dick shook his head at the statement, everyone’s defiant expressions flashing through his mind. “Why do you have to be right?”

“Because I’m basically an outsider looking in on your shitty situation.”

The phrasing didn’t escape Dick’s notice, how Jason referred to it as Dick’s situation and not their situation, how he was so quick to call himself the outsider. It bothered him, but he held his tongue. “Well I’m sure Roy and Kori are helping somehow. It’s how those two are,” Dick said wistfully. It took a moment to register the look Jason was sending him, a familiar one he’d seen on nearly all of the bats at one point or another. He rolled his eyes. “We’re not fucking,” he stated.

“But you want to be,” Jason said skeptically, an eyebrow raising in question. Dick turned away in a huff.

“What I want doesn’t matter.”

“I know two redheads who would say otherwise.” Jason looked to the side as he chewed on his lip. “Three now that I think about it.”

He was talking about Babs right? Oh for the love of god please say he’s talking about Babs and not someone else. “Is this you doing the whole arbiter of love thing? Cause if so, I need to know where your off switch is.”

“No. I just like seeing the people I care about happy, that’s all.”

Dick shook his head once more, biting his lip in a bid to hide the small smile that was growing on his face. “Whatever you say.”

* * *

It didn’t take long to open the cavern up again. Between the four of them, Kyle knew it wouldn’t take much time. Still, he was a worrier through and through. There was only so much he could do about that.

He knew Jason could handle himself, knew for how weird Dick had been acting he wouldn’t hurt him. Even with the influence of the red ring Kyle knew he wouldn’t. Dick would rather rip the ring off than take that risk. It was unfortunate really, sad even, that Dick was the one burdened with the thing.

The final rocks were shoved aside, the tunnel supported thanks to John’s architectural know how. Hal was the first to rush through, dragging Jason into a hug as he asked if he was alright.

Hearing Jason’s muttered, “Yes Dad I’m fine,” put Kyle at ease. The scene was adorable if a little hilarious considering how much Hal was trying to smother Jason like a small child instead of the grown ass man he was.

Looking over, Kyle couldn’t help but frown at Dick’s expression. He was clearly conflicted about something, something about the scene before them causing some kind of strain in his features. It didn’t take much to know it was about Jason and Hal, that new relationship causing a conflict in Dick’s mind. Sympathy creeped into Kyle’s chest, tugging at him before he pushed it away. Dick didn’t get a say in Jason’s life now. If he wasn’t there when Jason needed him he didn’t get to be there when he didn’t.

After what felt like a millennia Hal finally let Jason go, ruffling his hair with a soft, “Glad you’re okay buddy.”

Perking up, Kyle started making his way to Jason only to have Guy push past him, mischief in his eyes as he looked back. Kyle could only scowl, watching as Guy dragged Jason into a bear hug and swung them around.

Searching for his own sympathy, Kyle instead found John and Hal checking in on a surprised looking Dick. It seemed like he just wasn’t used to people asking if he was okay and not just accepting “I’m fine” for an answer. Ridiculous.

Laughter ripped his attention away once more, Guy and Jason’s voices mixing together. “So,” Guy said as they slowed their spinning, “when are ya gonna starting calling me Dad or Pops or something?”

“Hmm, when you and Hal are married or something I guess?” Jason shrugged, laughing some more as Guy’s features scrunched up.

“John!” Guy called, pulling away from Jason so Kyle could finally take his rightful place at his side. “We need to stop in 315 before we head back.”

John’s eye roll could be seen from orbit it was so direct, as was Hal’s sudden aversion to eye contact.

“What’s in 315?” Jason asked as he watched the scene before them.

“A planet whose name we have no chance of pronouncing,” Kyle explained. “We just call it Space Vegas.”

Jason chuckled as he wrapped an arm around Kyle’s waist, resting his head on his shoulder. “I take it that involves some cute little wedding chapels?”

“Random Elvis impersonators and all. Guy’s been pining for years, he may as well try.”

“Hmm, true.”

Kyle looked down at him, studied how his hair fell, how his eyelashes stood out on his cheeks. God the things he’d do just to kiss those cheeks. “You sure you’re alright?” he asked softly.

Their fingers laced together as Jason raised his head. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Kyle could only watch transfixed as Jason’s eyes glowed just a little bit brighter at the contact before they closed. He felt a resounding warmth spread through his fingers and up his arm, a hazy glow filling his mind.

This always felt so good, sending and receiving across the link Jason created. How much more intense must it be for Jason? If it felt this nice for Kyle, surely it felt downright euphoric for Jason.

Which would explain a lot of things and fall in line with what Guy mentioned earlier.

“What’s the matter?” Jason asked with laughter, his free hand cupping Kyle’s cheek. “Your arm can’t keep up?”

Heat immediately poured into Kyle’s face. How the hell did he forget that Jason could pick up on feelings and memories, even those little thoughts he had when he read him? Stupid.

Jason laughed again, a nice low chuckle as he pulled him into a kiss. “It’s alright,” he said, his thumb rubbing over Kyle’s lip. “We’ll figure something out okay?”

Kyle couldn’t keep himself from kissing that digit, then dragging the rest of Jason’s hand up to cradle his face once again. “Whatever you need,” he promised.

“They’re so adorable.” Guy’s whisper pulled Kyle out of the violet haze that had been forming in his mind. “You two ready to go?” Guy asked, much louder now that their attention was on him. “We’ve got everything we need.”

Kyle grumbled at the interruption. Jason just laughed and pushed him towards the exit.

* * *

Sparring with Dick was always a test in endurance and if Jason was being honest at least a little bit of luck. Years ago, back when he couldn’t even reach the man’s chin, they’d been too unevenly matched to have anything even resembling a fair fight. By then Dick had almost a decade of experience as a vigilante under his belt, in addition to everything he’d learned from growing up in the circus. Jason, well Jason had some training courtesy of Bruce, and some experience in street brawling thanks to the sleaze bags in the Alley. But it was all miniscule in comparison to what Dick could do. Now though, now it was different.

It was obvious how much that gap in experience had been closed between Jason’s death and his return. No longer was he some inexperienced kid with the height and weight to match. Now he was experienced, educated, he knew what he was capable of. Moves Dick had once used to fool him no longer worked, his flipping and twisting not enough to keep Jason off of him anymore. To matters worse for Dick their size difference had not only shrunk, it had been reversed.

Spars between them were no longer an easy win for Dick. No, if he wanted to beat Jason he had to work for it, just like Jason had.

“Come on, I thought you were supposed to be the best of us,” Jason goaded as he evaded.

“And I thought you trained with actual professionals,” Dick responded, leaping into another attack. “Guess one of us was bound to be disappointed.”

Jason spun away, propelling himself back from Dick’s incoming kick. “Whatever you say Rapunzel.”

Dick glared at the taunt, feigning an attack as he set his hair streaking for Jason. “Oh please. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you raided Kori’s closet,” he called, thin inky black strands still reaching from his head to Jason. “Honestly, don’t you get cold in that thing?”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Jason scoffed, twisting around and away as quickly as he could. He could probably shoot at the hair, but he had no way of knowing if it would hurt Dick or not. It was for the best if he didn’t. “I remember what your first Nightwing suit looked like. At least I have style, all you had was high neck collars and deep v necks.”

“And here I thought you wore that because you liked the looks you get.”

Jason faltered, taken aback for a second. Unfortunately between them, a second was more than enough time for the other to press the advantage. Long dark strands wrapped around Jason’s legs, pulling him back to Dick with a yelp. He turned, taking advantage of the speed he was being pulled with, and tackled Dick to the ground.

They rolled around, each trying to get a hold on the other, until they finally gave up, tangled in limbs and hair and panting heavily as they stared up to the sky.

Jason looked over at Dick, watching as he somehow pulled his hair back in. It was freaky, but mildly intriguing in a way he just couldn’t look away from.

“You know you can change your suit right?” he asked without thinking. Realizing what he said, he tried to play it off as a joke, failing horribly. “If you really wanted to go all Discowing again all you need to do is think about it.”

“Really?” Dick asked. “How?”

“Think about it. Kind of like how you thought about pulling your hair back or flying. Pretty easy actually.” He was rambling now, he knew he was, but with the look Dick was giving him he just couldn’t stop.

“If that’s the case then why haven’t you changed yours? I’ve never seen you in public in anything less than a t-shirt and pants at the very least.”

Jason stared back, trying to decipher what Dick meant. He wasn’t making fun of him right? He seemed genuinely curious as far as Jason could tell. “Maybe I just didn’t want you guys to see anything,” he murmured, hoping it would come off as a joke. Judging by Dick’s pursed lips, that was a fail.

“It doesn’t seem practical, that’s all. And let’s be real here, if anyone in the family dresses for practically over fashion it’s you.” Dick paused, his eyes drilling into him. “Is it the looks?” he asked skeptically.

Jason sucked a breath through his teeth, embarrassment passing through every inch of his body. “Maybe? I couldn’t really do anything about it at first,” he tried to explain, his shoulders hitched up to his ears. “In the beginning it bothered me a bit, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I just grew used to it I guess.” He reached up, rubbing his reddening chest. “At least the way this thing is cut, it makes my scar more of a design choice than, well, you know.”

“And the looks?” Dick asked after a pause.

His head went lower, the ground becoming very interesting all of a sudden. “I, uh, I kind of also just like how Kyle looks at me when I’m wearing it. I mean, he always looks at me no matter what I’m wearing, and I always like that, but with this I fell more, I don’t know, visually attractive I guess?”

Dick leaned back on his hands, no judgement in his voice as he asked, “more sexy?”

“Uh, let’s go with that,” Jason rushed to agree, unable to meet his gaze. God he knew he technically started this conversation with the whole Rapunzel joke, but he didn’t know why it felt so weird. He’d had this same talk with Carol, they’d discussed the same things in even more detail, gone over the pros and cons of it. Hell she’d shown him the clusterfuck that was her old Sapphire outfit, had explained in more than enough detail of why it had been a stupid idea to go along with that particular design, why she’d even done it in the first place. Why was talking with Dick so much harder?  
“I can relate,” Dick admitted, ignoring Jason’s noise of surprise. “So this thing between you two is real then? Not an ‘alien tech made you do it’ type of thing?”

The genuine concern in Dick’s voice made Jason pause in his response. Dick was actually worried? “No, definitely not. I literally knocked him out before we got together. I could hardly stand the guy,” he admitted, remembering that night back on Dimarus, how Kyle had dropped like a pile of bricks. “The ring might enhance my feelings but they can’t make me feel something that isn’t there.” He paused, going over Dick’s words one more time, before realizing what Dick was implying. “And besides, ‘alien tech made us do it’? Dick, I already told you man, we haven’t ‘done it’, not even close,” he joked.

“How?” Dick asked, only catching himself after the words escaped. “Your powers are based on love. It seems weird that you wouldn’t. Don’t you feel like you’re missing something with that?”

“Dick,” Jason interrupted, grabbing his shoulder, “you’re trying way too hard to compare my relationship with Kyle to the ones you’ve had. That’s not gonna work at all. I’m not you, and Kyle isn’t Kori or Babs or Roy or whoever you’re trying to compare us to. And besides, you’re super open about your sexuality and shit, you’re okay letting people see that stuff. I’m not. I’ve experienced too much shit to just hop into bed with someone.”

Dick’s look was quickly morphing from confusion to understanding to downright horrified. “What do you mean?” he asked as his voice went horrifically quiet. The worst case scenarios were on full display for Jason to see, flashing through Dick’s eyes as he looked back at Jason. There was a hint of something else there too, some kind of understanding, like he was trying to figure out if he and Jason shared the same pain. Jason was too terrified to ask what it was for.

“I’ve seen people’s sexuality be used against them, I saw it be used as a weapon to hurt and control. I lived in the Alley Dick, I lived on the streets. Of course I was around that shit, and it scared the fuck out of me. In a way it still does. Do I want to sleep with Kyle? Yes, fuck yes of course I do, and I know he does as well. But I just...I want to, but I need just a little more time, that’s all.”

He shook his head slowly, his eyes glued to the distance. He hadn’t really ever talked about it, he and Kori and Roy had a few conversations but that was about it. He’d always wonder how different things might be if those problem had been dealt with sooner, if he and Bruce and Alfred had taken even just a minute to stop and think about the things he might have seen before Bruce found him. How different would things be if he’d gotten that extra help?”

“Oh well,” he shrugged as he tried to lighten the mood. “It’s not like we can really do much right now anyway, what with my powers and all. I’m already getting overwhelmed. Can’t imagine how much worse it’d be if we kept going.”

“What the hell do your powers have to do with sex?” Dick demanded, looking down at his own ring in concern. That haunted look seemed to be gone, but Jason knew it could be brought back in a second.

Jason laughed at the response. “Physical contact, I read people, remember? Usually it’s not an issue, but when we start getting anywhere my control slips. Feels like a damn typhoon, all these sensations and feelings and thoughts.”

“Does it happen with the ring off?”

Jason stared back in thought, contemplating. “I have no idea. I haven’t taken it off since I got it. Damn things probably fused to me by now,” he grumbled. “Either way we agreed not to rush things. Just take things slow, ensure we’re both doing alright, all of that. And it’s not like I have any issues with Kyle masturbating, so it’s not like I’m banning him from getting his rocks off. I’m not that weird.”

The look Dick was giving him quickly turned mischievous, his lips curling as he looked directly at Jason. “You watch him, don’t you?” he whispered like a damn gossip.

Jason stared back wide eyed. “Can we go back to your training?”

“You totally do!”

Jason threw up his hands, hoping to hold off Dick’s questions. “No, no, no. That’s a conversation for later and a topic I’m working up to. Don’t ruin it for me.”

Dick threw an arm around his shoulders, giggling like a madman before it died out. “Oh, my little brother’s growing up. What the hell am I gonna do about this?”

Jason leaned into the hold as much as he could, just grateful for the slight subject change.

“I’m proud of you Jason,” Dick said as he hugged him tighter. “I never really gave you a chance when you were a kid. I let my anger at Bruce affect how I treated you. Yet another example of how fucked up I am when I let it take over, huh. You being here, helping me, looking out for me after everything, dealing with my shit, there’s no way I can thank you enough Jason.”

Jason hummed, looked to the sky once more as he stood. “I was kind of a weird kid all things considered. Can’t really blame yourself for that part. Though I guess something’s don’t really change when you think about it.”

“Like what?” Dick asked as he stood to join him.

Jason didn’t answer, just launched into a surprise attack, forcing Dick to dodge and fall back into their dance.

* * *

The cavern was just as Dick remembered it, though now it had far more people in it than last time. They’d been on this planet for at least a week as far as Dick could tell, maybe longer. Most of the time had been spent helping the locals in locating the other caverns and navigating the strange tunnel systems to find the nidu. They still didn’t have a clear answer on why the stuff had drained down, or even how these tunnels had been created, but that was something for the locals to figure out.

For now, he and Guy had been sent to oversee the progress for a few hours and to help where needed. For the most part they’d just floated around, not really doing much of anything. Two of the others would be by later to replace them, but for now this was it.

The others, man even just thinking of Guy and Hal in close quarters was still kind of off putting to him. The week he’d spent in their company had done little to change that. With everything he knew about their past, and everything he knew from Jason in regards to how they got together, it just got weirder and weirder. And the way they seemed to separate their relationship from their work, with everything Dick knew about them, none of this should be possible. With everything he’d seen from other heroes and even himself when in relationships, none of this made sense, none of it.

He thought he was confused by Jason and Kyle being together, clearly Guy and Hal were giving them a run for their money. Speaking of Jason...

“Hey Guy.” Guy turned at his name, giving Dick his attention even as he kept a watch on the workers out of the corner of his eye. “Jason mentioned that we can change our suit designs.”

Guy looked confused, like he was trying to understand why Dick would ask such a thing. “Well, yeah, it’s pretty easy. See?” He held up an arm, the material of his shirt and glove shifting, pulling the glove closer to his arm, more skin tight like Hal’s before it shifted again, turning green and moving up his arm, away from his hand before he had it return to its original form. “You just need to think about it and make it happen, that’s all.”

“Do you know if it can alter, um, how I look?”

Understanding came over Guy’s face, finally seeing where Dick’s original statement came from. “You’re thinking of keeping it?” he asked, nodding towards Dick’s ring.

He lifted his hands up, stared at his elongated fingers with frustration. “Maybe, it depends on if I can get these things hidden away.”

Humming, Guy scratched his chin as he looked to the side. “Rankorr’s been able to pass as a normal guy before. It was like a construct from what I understand. Only one who could do it ‘til that cat drank his blood or something.” He sighed, turning back to Dick. “Far as I know, most Reds can make constructs now because of that. Changing their appearance? I can’t say.”

“But it’s possible?” Dick asked, a spark of hope running through him.

“Possible yeah. If you want I can get in touch with him, see if he can train you or something.”

“I’d really appreciate it.”

“Then I’ll put in the call once we’re out of here.” Some yelling drew their attention. Thankfully it wasn’t anything, just a dropped tool. “How are you holding up with it?” Guy asked for what felt like the millionth time this week. For probably the first time, he decided to be honest.

“The anger and rage are still constant. But I can’t tell if it’s because of the ring or if it’s just me,” he answered.

“I remember those days,” Guy said as he lounged back in the air. “Rage makes you second guess yourself. Don’t worry, once you get a hold on it it’ll get easier.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely. Rankorr and the others wouldn’t have lasted this long otherwise.”

Dick appreciated his shows of comfort as well as his honesty, and he especially appreciated when Guy pulled them away to help the locals work on something. He would have his answers soon, he might even be able to return to normal.

* * *

Unnamed planets were always an interesting find for Kyle. Unnamed, unknown, the planets could be anything, could house anything, and nobody even know. A planet with no history and no name. Could it be called a planet at that point?

This one was nice at least, its inhabitants all seeming to be single celled or microbial. It was cold too, but thankfully their rings did well in keeping them warm.

Kicking a rock, he looked around, hoping to find something new. He understood why they were there, why they’d left Lundi for this small little backwater planet before heading to Saint Walker and the Blue Lanterns. He understood, of course he did, it was impossible not to with John looking over his shoulder checking in every other minute like a weird mix between a mother hen and a helicopter parent. Still, it made his hair stand on end, made his hackles rise, and made the feeling that they were wasting time all the more present.

He had no real resentment for the Red Lanterns, not really, but that didn’t mean they didn’t make him nervous. Seeing that Rankorr guy talking with Jason again, the two of them getting so excited over whatever they were discussing, it didn’t help. His interactions with Red Lanterns hadn’t gone that well in the past, hell even just figuring out how to use their power had been a journey through pain. He’d tried to hold back the automatic distrust for Rankorr, tried not to let his wariness show. He’d done well enough in accepting Dick and keeping that distrust from affecting him. But Red Lanterns always seemed to remind him of Alex’s broken headstone, of the spray of blood as a man was shot dead, of the panicked cries of a son as he watched his father die. Having one talk to Jason so openly, one who was a stranger, he didn’t know what to do with that.

He felt a presence at his shoulder, a hand pulling him away from the scene and his memories. Hal’s concerned face came into focus, his eyes bouncing between Kyle’s face and his ring hand.

“What’s up?” Kyle asked more than a little weirded out by Hal’s silence.

“You’re doing the orange thing again buddy,” Hal said.

“Orange?”

“Your ring? You haven’t noticed? Well, actually I’d say it’s shifting between yellow, orange, and red now that I’m up close. Anyway, you ring’s been lighting up with different colors again, mostly violet and blue, but the others are there from time to time.” He hummed, eyes sharp as they studied Kyle’s face. “Are you trying to pull a White Lantern again?”

“What? No, I didn’t even realize I was doing that,” he admitted, staring at his ring in disbelief. How long had he been doing that? The way Hal talked his ring had been going off like a mood ring themed disco ball. Shit.

“It’s fine, you’ll be alright,” Hal waved away his concern, his expression finally lightening up again. “Just be careful with some of those colors. I know what that stuff’ll do to you.”

Kyle nodded quickly, his eyes darting away from Hal to land on the group, on Dick. “Is he actually considering keeping it?”

“Seems like it. Guy said he’s been running through the pros and cons of it, started really considering it after the incident with the cave in.” He shrugged nonchalantly, like someone keeping rage as their primary weapon was just a normal everyday occurrence. “It’s worth a shot. If it gets to be too much we can rush him off to Saint Walker or Mogo or something. No biggie.”

“So we’re not going to see Bro'Dee then?”

“I didn’t say that, just that curing Dick of the red ring might not be the main objective anymore.”

“And you’re fine with that?”

“It’s not my place to be fine or not, I’m not the one stuck with the ring, thank Christ. I have no idea how Dick’s not losing his mind with that thing, let alone how Guy made it out of wearing one for so long. But at the end of the day it’s their decision. Besides, once Dick’s back on Earth he’s really not my problem anymore.”

Kyle nodded. He knew Hal wasn’t being dismissive of Dick, more so that he was just stating facts. Unless Dick called them for help they wouldn’t be around, he wouldn’t be their responsibility.

They watched the group as Guy said something. While they weren’t close enough to hear, Dick’s expression gave away what was probably being explained. The man looked absolutely disgusted. Kyle couldn’t really blame him. On the other hand, Jason seemed to be watching with open intrigue, his eyes bright as he watched Rankorr make a small cut in his arm so Dick could take the blood. Why the Red Lanterns had such a weirdly vampiric ritual for obtaining different abilities he’d never know, and for that Kyle was grateful.

Soon after Jason stood to leave, heading towards Hal and Kyle with John following right behind him.

The minute John was within earshot he was dragging Hal away. What for Kyle had no idea, but with Jason there he couldn’t really be too bothered to find out. If he could just spend all day staring at Jason he likely would, committing every last inch of him to memory, and then to paper just to be sure. God he was such a sucker.

“What’s the light show about?” Jason asked, leaning into his side. Embarrassment clawed into Kyle’s chest as he realized that Jason had noticed. “Come on, you can tell me,” he prompted, kissing Kyle’s cheek ever so slightly. “What’s the worst it could be?”

“It’s a uh, side effect of the whole White Lantern thing apparently. Ring kind of reflects my emotions by the colors of the corps,” he explained, fiddling with his fingers awkwardly. “Might be a sign it’s coming back, I don’t know.”

“What was orange again?”

“Avarice.”

“But it was just me and...” he started, trailing off as he looked over towards Dick and the others. “Were you getting territorial Mr. Rayner?” he asked, a strange mix of teasing and surprise coating his words.

“Maybe. Just a little?” Kyle tried to explain, though he knew it was coming out more as a whine of fear than anything. So he didn’t notice the red and yellow then. That’s good, that was great, he could work with that. He just needed to not come off as some possessive asshole, that’s all. “But it’s not issue, it’s not going to be an issue, promise.” He stuttered to a stop a stop as Jason moved ever so slightly closing, walking him backwards.

“Is that so?” he asked, dropping his voice in that way that made Kyle absolutely crazy. Fuck, Jason could do whatever he wanted. So long as he used that voice Kyle would be putty in his hands.

“I-I mean, you’re uh, independent and you can make your own decisions, you certainly don’t need me getting all weird about who you talk to, and uh, fuck—“

His stuttering was thankfully brought to an end as Jason pulled him into a kiss, his lips and tongue making short work of ending Kyle’s use of any language. The intensity threw him for a loop, Jason’s usual slow pace replaced with this hurricane of feeling almost instantly. God damn. His back hit a wall, not that he noticed. Really all he noticed was Jason pulling away, causing him to whine at the loss.

“I might have some ideas,” Jason panted over his lips, “for when we get back to Earth or Oa or Zamaron or wherever.”

Kyle gulped a few times, his throat gone dry and his brain only capable of screaming “want” and “more”. “Uh, w-what did you have in mind?”

“Oh just,” one of Jason’s legs moved between his, pushing and pushing and oh _fuck_ , “things.”

Excitement ran through Kyle, among other things of course. He knew his ring was glowing a bright violet by now, probably a tinge of blue breaking through as well, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a damn. Then a thought hit him and he pulled his excitement to a slow halt. It had been hard enough with what they’d been doing so far, could Jason handle going any further? “You’re sure?”

Jason smirked, and Kyle was able to just catch a glimpse of uncertainty in his eyes. “What, I’m not allowed to enjoy a show?” Kyle’s earlier embarrassment rushed back in full force, the images those words created doing things he didn’t realize were possible. “What’s the worst that could happen?” Jason purred into his ear, one of his hands placed just right on Kyle’s chest. “I see something I like? I participate?”

The fantasies were back in full force, as was certain other things. Kyle tried not to move, fully aware of what could happen if he moved even an inch forward. As much as he loved Jason thighs, this was not the place for, well, that.

Jason pulled back, taking in Kyle’s flustered expression and clearly getting the wrong idea. “If you want to anyway,” he said awkwardly, his voice returned to normal as he bit his lip. He started to pull back and Kyle couldn’t let that happen. His leg shot out to wrap around Jason’s as his arms wrapped around his neck to pull him back.

Kyle stared at him, at this man that drove him absolutely fucking wild and didn’t even seem to realize it. “Of course I want to, shit, isn’t it obvious?” he asked, looking down incredulously then back up to Jason. Jason’s gaze followed his, and the tips of his ears began to turn a bright red.

He looked back up to Kyle with the most hopeful look in his eyes, his breathing heavy as he asked, “So, can we?”

“Yes, please, fuck yes. Tell me when and I will be there in a heartbeat.”

Jason nodded, unable to meet his eyes but thankfully still capable of pressing his lips to Kyle’s before stepping back. “You should probably, uh...”

“Yeah,” he agreed, looking around only to find the other Lanterns thankfully not staring in their direction. “I’ll, uh...”

“Yeah.” Jason nodded quickly as Kyle untangled himself. He floated away, hoping to sneak off to somewhere where he could concentrate on things other than his boyfriend’s stupid sexy voice and the way he could be so blissfully ignorant to how turned on he made Kyle. And definitely not his thighs, or his arms, or his face, or really anything. No Kyle, stop. Now is not the fucking time. Later.

* * *

Epilogue

Dick hadn’t really ever thought about his hands much. He’d think of them in terms of where they’d go, what ledge they’d grab as he jumped between buildings or across a circus tent, what damage they could inflict to stop his enemies. He’d of course had to think of them in terms of medical necessity, to survey if they were injured, to correct whatever was wrong, but that was it. His hands had never made him feel any particular way, just as he was sure most other people felt.

Now though, looking down at his very human hands, it almost made him tear up. After nearly two weeks of having those long, pointed, deformed things for hands and fingers, seeing his normal hands felt like a dream come true. He knew the illusion wouldn’t last long, and like clockwork they shifted back, bringing with them the usual disappointment. He knew it wouldn’t last long, even with Rankorr’s help he couldn’t hold it that long, but still. He was allowed to be disappointed.

“Your shifting is quite marvelous,” Saint Walker said from his perch nearby. “You said you have only been practicing for a few days, yes?”

“Yeah,” Dick answered. “I just wish I could hold it longer, or that I could make it permanent, that’s all.”

“You have only just begun to use this power. With time you will master it.”

Of all the aliens Dick had met since leaving Earth, this Saint Walker had to be his favorite. He was so calm and friendly, it felt like nothing could faze him. Then again, being a Lantern of hope would likely do that to a person he supposed. Saint Walker hadn’t been judgmental at hearing Dick’s decision to keep the red ring, if anything he’d shown concern before offering his assistance should Dick ever need it.

“Your family will be glad to see you I’m sure,” Saint Walker said, clearly trying to make some kind of small talk.

“Maybe. Well, some of them anyway. But Bruce...” He still didn’t know what to do about Bruce. Even after his brief conversation with the man Dick couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to do. And he’d told him he was getting rid of the ring, how would he react when he found out he hadn’t? “I don’t know what to do about him,” he admitted. “I haven’t really talked to Jason about what we should do either. I don’t want to upset him after everything that’s happened.”

Saint Walker hummed, looking up to the small creatures around them before looking back to Dick. “I cannot predict the future, and for that I am glad. I have lost my hope before, seeing what the future holds would undoubtedly make me lose it again. But I do see good things for you Richard, I do see hope.”

Dick nodded, his own words stuck in his throat. He’d heard a similar thing from Jason and the others, but for some reason it just felt different with a stranger saying it. Saint Walker and the Blue Lanterns had no reason to trust him or even be nice to him, yet here they were.

They went to regroup with the others, passing plants and creatures that Dick hoped would be burned into his memory. It would be a shame not to remember them. The others mingled with the Blue Lanterns, sharing pleasantries and jokes like the oldest of friends. He knew the Green Lantern Corps was massive, with thousands of individual Lanterns. Seeing so few Blues felt like a massive imbalance. If the Blues had so few, he had to wonder how many the other corps had.

Laughter pulled his gaze to his comrades. He wasn’t surprised to find Guy and Hal at the center of the laughter, the two caught between making faces at each other and trying to wrestle the other to the ground. Amusement was plain on everyone’s face as they watched the show, even as the two tripped and fell to the ground in a mass of flailing limbs and laughter. Dick couldn’t hold back his own laughter at the scene, moving closer to get a better look before his eyes strayed over to Jason.

There was something happening today, something that had to do with Jason, wasn’t there? Something important? Shit what was it? Running through the days in his head he came to a halt, finally realizing what he’d been forgetting. April 27th, it was April 27th, how the hell did he forget that?

Looking back to Jason, he could see why he forgot actually. Gone was the haunted look in his eyes, the perpetual frown on his lips, the aura of despair that always surrounded him around this date, Instead his eyes glowed a bright violet, his face broken into a smile as he enjoyed his time with the people around him.

Jason caught his eye, gesturing for him to come closer before grabbing his arm and pulling him to his side with ease. Dick let him, laughing as he went before wrapping Jason in another hug.

He could see Kyle watching them with interest, a small pout appearing when Jason squeezed Dick back. The hug lasted for a good moment before a cry of “group hug!” was yelled out and Dick was crushed in the mass of bodies. He couldn’t help but laugh just that little bit harder at Jason’s grumbling.

Bruce could wait, he just needed to focus on the people with him right now.

**Author's Note:**

> I have finally made my decision, it only took weeks/months and tens of thousands of words. What can I say, I like the idea of Gotham criminals freaking out and thinking the bats have all become cryptids or something. And this gives me more angsty Bruce and Dick material, so that works.  
> For anyone interested, I'm on tumblr [do_not_careissa ](https://do-not-careissa.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
